So This Is What Loneliness Feels Like

I came home almost 6pm. The house was dark. I knew my kids weren't there. Migue went to Lutopan with his Papi, then I guessed Dean is in the mall with his Nana as usual. I greeted kuya Billy, asked where Dean was although it was very obvious. I greeted my dad who was sitting on his rocking chair as usual. He seems different too. Found out that mom wasn't home too which I think made him a bit more grumpy than usual. Most of the lights were off. Maybe some of the kids from the neighborhood thinks this is a haunted house. It might be someday.

I went upstairs, changed my clothes. The room was a mess. Clothes on the bed, empty plastics containers which Ernel uses when he eats are stacked. I hate him for that. I always hate him for many reasons. Instead of lying on the bed, I turned my PC on and sat on the chair. Then I said to myself, "So this it what it feels like, when no one is waiting for you to come home." I wanted to absorb this. "So loneliness is pain."

I don't want to be separated from my kids ever!