I was bored waiting for the food that we ordered in a restaurant when I decided to go to a bookstore while my family waits. I went through the “Biography” section (which is my favorite section in a bookstore) to search for Virginia Woolf that I have been hunting down for quite some time already but found “Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua. I actually read about her and her book last 2011 from one of the mommy blogs that I constantly follow.
I immediately enjoyed every page of the book. It’s about how a daughter of Chinese immigrant married a Jew and raised 2 intelligent, obedient and talented daughters. I love her writing style. It’s funny, witty, honest, and brutally frank. I learned a lot from her parenting style and totally agree about everything she said, especially her opinions about “Western Parents”.
Lately I have been so stressed out in raising my 2 boys. Migue is having really bad grades in school this year, and it embarrasses me because he is studying in my Alma Mater. Dean on the other hand had always been difficult especially now that no “Yaya” is watching over him. I confess that I have been Yaya dependent ever since he was born. Long story.
I, on the other hand, is still struggling about everything. Work, family, interest, time. Freelancing is harder than I thought. I was wrong to think that working from home is less stressful than working in an office with your boss watching your every move and breathing on your neck, or talk to assholeangry customers over some simple problem they can’t fix. Turns out, I am having more stress at home because of Dean, lack of discipline of my body (kept falling asleep in the mid afternoon). It’s a struggle keeping yourself focused with your task if you have all the freedom, comfort, and distractions at home. Therefore, I salute freelancers who have been doing it for the longest time.
I was worried when my client started to ask about updates of my work. You must never let clients ask for an update, you must always deliver the update. I have been slacking and worrying made me more stressed out. One of my goals this year is to read as many books as I can, so whenever I have the time, I read and also exercise. This week is Migue’s exam week and that only means one thing for me, STRESS. Time for Zumba later.
Back to parenting style, I have changed my style from strict to encouraging and understanding when I realized I have been too harsh with Migue. I can’t even talk about it because it brings me tears. But when I read Amy’s book, I realized again that sometimes harsh is good. It prepares your child on the harsh things people do in the real world. And by that I mean bosses cussing, mean clients complaining, customers whining and using F words to get through you. People are mean, so if I keep Migue in that happy shell protecting him from all that evil in this world, I’d rather toughen him up because I won’t be here forever hugging him tight when he cries.
I am not satisfied with how I become now and I blame my parents and surroundings because of that. I was not prepared on what’s out there. It’s kinda like the song “Buses and Trains”. I remember I threw glasses on the floor in our office because I was so mad at my boss for asking a different person to do the task that I failed to do. I was insecure about my skills, my intellect and I hate people judging me for failing a task, a subject, a contest. I was humbled because I always thought I can do anything and that I am smart enough to be anything I want to be.
I am now convinced that I am also a lazy person and a quitter but I’m not gonna be like that anymore now that I realized it. This new year brings a lot of new things to me and that includes my character, attitude and thinking.
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